Powell: My Heaven

Ever since I can remember my family and I have been going down to Lake Powell. Being that its located in the very state I live in and that it's also one of my favorite places to vacation makes it nice for me. As far as I'm concerned there isn't any place like it; the way the glistening blue green fades into the calcium deposited white of water levels past, and finally into the ever famous russet brown and black that dominates Southern Utah.



I could list a hundred reasons why I love this place:
1. sun
2. beautiful
3. hot
4. relaxing
5. memorable
The lake is so powerful in all of its 186 miles. Sometimes the feelings I get are indescribable when I'm down there. The open aired freedom of the water, the sun, and the sky gives anyone the ability to breath. Breath deep and sure. The last time we were down there it was almost like therapy for me. Like I had checked into a rehabilitation center where I could completely be myself. Previous to our trip my grandmother passed away- literally days before we left, and last summer was close to hell. I've had a pretty eventful year. The night before we left we had to attend a friend's wedding and I was able to stand up for myself towards two supposed "friends" of mine, a first for me-it was a liberating experience. (and too long of a story to tell) I appreciated that I had this beautiful place to mull over my past, present, and future feelings. This time around I was able to breeze through the first two books of the Twilight Saga, I tanned, I swam, ate good food...I took it all in and God it was great.

If I had to chose my serenity, here is where it would be:
Here are a few pictures of my time down there:

Attika and I on a boat ride. It was so cute-she loved being in the sun, she instantly fell asleep.

All of us that went. We hiked up to Rainbow Bridge.

Nate (my brother) and I while we were exploring Face Canyon.

Playing Polish Poker. The only cute one at this table is Bree. lol.

Attika and Ketta on their first boat ride. They loved it.

Bree and I on our hike.

Gunsight Butte, where we camped. The houseboat.

Jon and the girls @ Dangling Rope Marina.

Our last night there just over the wall someone put on the most amazing firework show. It was incredible.

Jon and I.

Creating our own firework show.

Where I spent most of my time reading Twilight.

A beautiful place.

My Mame

Tradition has proven itself joyful, yet again. For the past couple of months Amy and I have been creating a much needed girls night either during the week or the weekend. Last night we embarked upon our sixth girls night; lately it has become a weekly thing rather than the once a month we first talked about.

Throughout each friendship I have gained I have come to realize that friendship rarely ever comes easy, at least not the ones that truly matter. Needless to say my relationship with mame (Amy, Slame, Dizzy dame) is recently coming off the rocks we hit this summer. Some might say that having to work within a relationship you have with a friend isn't worth it, but I completely disagree. Sometimes knowing that both of you care enough, to fight, get over it, and beginning to rekindle what might have been lost during the fight tells me so much more. It feels good knowing that someone cares about you enough to work through the bad stuff and make the good stuff that much better.

Amy and I have gotten along from day one. I have lots of memories with her, even before I have memories with Jon. She's always been a sweetheart and she always gets me. The dirty dancing recaps, the Levi goat laugh, stealing people's liquor, making mac and cheese...throwing benches into Holiday Innn's swimming pools at 2:00a.m. I could go on forever. From the crazy ass w. terrace times through the goyk hennessey days up until now with our girl's nights mame will always be in my heart. She taught me how to play guitar hero, one handed like a fuckin rock star, that's bad ass. ;) love you sis, sliss. Let's never forget why we click the way we do in the first place.

Dog'on Photography

Last Saturday we ventured out with our children to Beus Pond where we met Brad (our photographer) so that we could take "family" photos. We figured we'd get through the dog shots first because those seemed they would be the hardest. (and they were, believe me) Gage couldn't keep his tongue in his mouth for... oh i dont know....ONE second. Because the park was packed the dogs would look everywhere BUT the camera. While my husband became frustrated I couldn't help but enjoy the time we were having; Brad kept cooing "Gage, Gage...up here Gage" as if he was speaking to a toddler...that brought to my attention that in the years to come Jon and I will look back on this time and marvel at the days when we only had Attika and Gage to worry about. One day a couple of kids will fill our lives and our home with a lot more responsibility and chaos. Even though I look forward to that time in our lives, I am grateful for the time we have with one another now; I am very pleased and fulfilled with the little spirits we take care of. We are complete for now.

Cleora Blanche Durant Arnell

My Grandma was just like any other Grandma.
She passed away on September 15, 2008 at the age of 87yrs. Her last days here with us were sad ones, she suffered quietly while all of us watched her go. As hard as it is to accept the death of someone close to you, most of my family realized it was time for her to move on. The state she was living in was no state for any human being to live in at all. When you can't eat or speak your worth starts to diminish within you. She felt it, she knew, and she was ready.

The hardest part is watching those that are left behind struggle. My Grandpa wept constantly at her side for two weeks prior to her passing. He loved her, I never saw it before as much as I saw it then. His frail 92 year old body laid out across her as he would plead to her that he loved her and that he would be okay, it was okay for her to finally sleep. I don't blame him, they were together for a total of 72 years; that's longer than some people live here on this earth and 50 years before I was even born. It was also extremely difficult to watch my Dad cry-he was losing his Mommy something I can't nor do I want to ever relate to. It's weird seeing someone that you view as your strength (my dad) for so many years in such a sad state of mind.

I was in charge of the photographs for her viewing and funeral. Going through all the photographs I could find of her from her infant stages up until a month or so ago-it occured to me her life experiences were lying right there in front of me. Now that she was gone it was only her family and this pile of photographs that held her memory. It brought my mortality to surface and I realized that life is really too short.

I think we can all learn a lesson from this. Live your life to its fullest and take a lot of pictures along the way!

I love you grandma and you will be greatly missed.

care to laugh?

I wonder if this lady survived that attack...I know her camera didn't...

The most important thing to me.

I met you at age fifteen.
I was never sure about us,
But I knew the way things seemed.
We were inseparable from the start
You and me.
It had to work somehow
We are meant to be.
Years passed
We kept in contact
As time flew by fast
You graduated from high school
And I was finally free
…For you and me.
We struggled to begin
But when we did…
The feelings were unbeatable from within.
“I love you” came quickly
We were thick as thieves
We spent all our time together immediately
When I look back on it now
I wish we would have slowed down
Not because I regret how it was
Only to enjoy more of the new us.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks into years.
Before I knew it four were under our belt.
Although it wasn’t always easy
I can’t describe how wonderful those years felt.
Time for the next step
We weren’t getting any younger
And our hearts were growing ever fonder.
On a cold day in December
You got down on one knee
And proposed all the love you had to me.
The coming months were a struggle
We faced a lot
We didn’t quite have it all together
But we made it out on top.
I am thankful for the bad times
As crazy as it may sound
We are stronger because of them, no more jagged edges
From this strength our life is becoming more round.
Your eyes are a web of entwined faith
It is for our future, which I cannot wait.
Bright blue doorways to your soul
Our past, present, and what we do not yet know
When I see through your blues
All I see is me and you.
Your touch is nurturing
Your embrace is all that and more
When your arms are around me
I can hardly control melting to the floor.
Your smile lightens up any room
When I taste your lips
I feel like I’m on top of the moon
Each kiss we share has a meaning
A friendly hello, a sad goodbye, sometimes passion and all its feeling.
You are my strong and brave man
Because you’re mine that makes me your biggest fan.
You are smart with many talents
If I named them one by one
I’d be here forever, with our time together being none.
The way you care so deeply, live so freely
Encourages me to stay unique, you complete me.
You’ve got compassion for others
Whether or not they are a brother, a friend, or your mother.
Your silly nature brings out the best in me
We can laugh until we cry, we always have fun
I can be as weird as I want to be
Thank you; with you I’m always free.
I live to let you shine.
You are my love, my partner, my best friend
No one could ever replace you
I will be with you until the very end.

Something to ponder...

"You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only...from human relationships. God has placed it all around us...and all you have to do is reach for it."

-Christopher McCandless

-Chris was holding a sign saying, "I have had a happy life and thank the Lord. Goodbye and may God bless all." Christopher McCandless' body was found inside the *bus weighing just 67 pounds. He had been dead for more than two weeks. His official cause of death was starvation.

"There is pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is rapture on the lonely shore,

There is society where none intrudes,

By the deep sea and the music in its roar;

I love not man the less, but Nature more."

*read 'Into the Wild' by Jon Krakauer or rent the film (same title) directed by Sean Penn.

Kirkinal Cheese

The nickname listed above is the edited version to what we normally call him and what his daughter choses to call him during family prayer. Anyhow, my brother-in-law, kirk, never lacks in the entertainment department. He's always doing something silly or telling a joke to gain attention. Kirk is a muralist and has done a lot of work around Utah and Nevada. He has pure talent in the arts and he taught himself. I am proud of him yet I envy him to be able to do what he loves all day and make thousands while doing it. If only I could turn my hobby into a career as he did. He is the father of three (soon to be four) and my sister's husband. He has been a part of our family for many years and I can only hope that he'll continue doing his job at taking care of my sis.
I love you Kirk-Off! ;)

Hollie's Top Ten + One

The following movies are ones that I highly suggest you watch if you haven't already. Enjoy!
1. Elizabethtown

This movie is my favorite so far. I thoroughly enjoy the way Cameron Crowe (director) portrays a truly disfunctional family. More often than not most movies show us what we want or expect to see. I love how believably real this film is.

2. Kill Bill Vol. 2

Where do I begin? I'll start with the fact that Uma kicks ass as the Black Mamba aka B*****x Kiddo, her role in Quentin's vision of a bride gone wrong. The cinematography in this film is so beautiful; its my favorite of the two because of this.

3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Jim Carey and Kate Winslet are easy to fall in love with while watching this movie. Both of them play their characters so well and I think that's why the movie was such a big hit. The idea that you could actually erase someone to ease pain is miraculous.

4. Smokin' Aces

I love movies that compile a bunch of different characters into one plot and allow them all to meet eventually. This movie doesn't deprive you of great action scenes and the coolest gun power you've ever seen.

5. A Lot Like Love

Your close to typical love story/chick flick. After watching this movie I wanted to find the kind of love that was expressed in it. The kind where no matter how much time passed, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't get pass the fact that you were meant to be with this one person.

6. Donnie Darko

Make sure you watch this movie all the way through. The ending definately explains the majority of the film. I think each person will find and take something different from Mr. Donnie Darko.

7. Death Proof

Not one of Quentin's finest, but a fine one at that. Even though you can feel the destined gloom and horrible gory fate upon each character you meet you can't help but want to BE them.

8. Requiem for a Dream

This movie is not bright whatsoever. There are parts in the film that sicken me to an extreme extent. I love it for the story it tells and the light it sheds on drugs and addiction.

9. Superbad

If you've seen previews for Superbad I don't have to say much to convince you of its greatness. The humour in this film is unbeatable. Crude yes, but priceless. Oh, and by the way, I love Michael Cera (see http://www.clarkandmichael.com/).

10. Mystic River

Again another morose film, but a great one. In the scene of the picture you are viewing above, Sean Penn's reaction to what he's just been told is very believable. As sad as it is, it's almost one of my favorite parts in the movie. If you love drama, you'll love this movie.

11. HOT FUZZ
Last but not at all the least. I love british comedy because you have to search for its humour, it doesn't just lay it out for you. Simon Pegg is incredibly sexy to me because he is funny without trying and that accent...grrr! This movie goes hand in hand with Shaun of the Dead. Watch them both.

Austin John Andersen

Twenty-two years ago today Austin was born, on March 28, 2007 he passed away due to a fatal accident. In the year and four months (almost five) that he has been gone, not a day has gone by where he hasn't crossed my mind. Some days are stronger than others, and some of course are harder than others.
I wish he were here today so that I could wish him a happy birthday, but since he's not I thought I'd honor him by writing this blog. Austin was a wonderful friend of mine, even though I only knew him for seven of his twenty years I feel special for having known him at all. I loved him for his infectious smile and his unbeatable hug. He and I spent many nights together laughing, talking, and trying to grow up in the world that we live in. I am certain that he touched not only mine but several lives in the time he had here on earth. I look forward to seeing him again one day when it's my time to move on.
The photo of him above was taken in my room, he had to have been about 15 or 16 yrs old. It is my favorite picture of him. The photo below is one I found of us (left and middle) being silly, we had to have been about fifteen years old, I'm guessing.
Anyway I miss the kid. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUSTIN! I love you.

Discoveries at the park

My husband and I found ourselves at the Ogden City Parkway on Sunday. After all this winter, last weekend was such a treat; we couldn't stay in our stuffy house any longer. Of course Attika and Gage, our children, (the dogs) needed to stretch their legs and explore the world as well. So we set off for the parkway. When we got there my first thoughts were, "Wow, this is packed!" There wasn't hardly anywhere to park the car; but we got the dogs situated and began down the nicely paved trail. I guess from here I'll get to the point; I noticed a few simple things while we were there and just thought I'd share them with you.
I first noticed the Ogden River; it was furious, rushing west and traveling to an end that I cannot picture. The sound was therapeutic; it was at first all I could hear. As we came upon the first opening I noticed the sound of an ice-cream truck, what seemed to be hundreds of little kids were surrounding it. The music playing out of the truck and the giggles and laughter I could hear brought me back to my childhood- when simple things in life, like an ice-cream truck circling the neighborhood, could bring me utter happiness and bliss. What a world that would be to live in again, right?
On Sunday the Parkway was very populated, I noticed several people grilling food at the provided areas, flying kites, riding bikes, roller blading, fishing, reading, walking their dogs, and the list could go on and on. I appreciate having such a place provided to us where we can do so many things. The dogs were so cute, Gage was his normal self-chill, laid back and then there was Atti-a three inch legged spitfire ready to fight and wanting to take down any dog that came in her way, even the huge Mastiff that could have eaten her up in one bite. This annoyed me and I began watching for dogs up ahead in our path so that I could distract her from them in some way as we passed. While doing this I noticed how many different dogs were there, big and small, black and white, spotted or solid, aggressive or timid, etc. As I noticed the diversity on a canine level, I began to notice it at my own "human" level. Again my differences can go from size, race, style, and personality. Fellow dog walkers would smile, some would nod, and others would actually say "Hello." We were approached by young children asking if they could pet our dogs as their parents watched. I couldn't help but to stop and notice the outward friendliness and the polite attitude of the people around me. Have you ever noticed while camping or hiking or in any "vacation spot" really that people are friendlier? People actually make eye contact and find it in their hearts to say hello; I've always wondered the reasoning behind this- Are they happier? Do some feel obligated when put in that element? I don't know, but I like it. You don't find that at the mall, or at Wal-Mart. I know I'm guilty of it at times, I don't make eye contact, I'm in too big of a hurry to smile or say hello...you lose what it means to be polite. This is the society we live that we have created. It is a new goal of mine to be more outwardly polite and friendly to those I come in contact with, whether they be total strangers or long time friends. :)
I began to dig deeper when glancing or watching the people I passed by or saw that day at the park. I noticed young love, friends, committed couples, family, and of course the ones that walked or sat alone. My heart went out to those who were alone. Some I could tell were just relaxing and enjoying a good book, some were determined athletes who were there for one purpose and couldn't be bothered. There were a few, of an older generation who were alone and I kept wondering why- Were they widowers? Were they just out for a nice Sunday stroll? I became sad for those that were alone and pondered what my life will be like at that age. Which brings me to this...enjoy now, the present, your life-notice and appreciate diversity.
I noticed a lot of things that day at the park as I walked Attika and felt the warm sun on my skin with beauty all around me. My advice to you is this-find the beauty in the world and hold onto it. You'll find it in places you never expected.
love-hollie

Movie Madness (Old Blog)

Have you ever had a "this is my life" moment?
It can happen in various situations. I think too often the lot of us passes from day to day without a thought that this...is...your...life. I'm not saying that we all take it for granite; but do you? I'm just suggesting that you try it sometime. What's sad to me (i'm guilty) that when an event takes place and slaps you in the face...that is when you step back and look at your life as if you're the star in your very own film. If someone asked you point blank unexpectedly "What kind of movie are you?" Would you claim yourself as a Drama, Action, Horror (let's hope not), are you sitting in the "Family" section at Blockbuster where it's always warm, fuzzy, and has a good ending? What signifies your life? In my case what makes me.. Hollie? I'll figure that out and let you know later.
So the next time you're at your favorite restaurant, watching your favorite movie or tv show, cuddling with your dog, gazing into the eyes of your lover...laughing with your friends, or crying over someone you've lost...in these random moments remember this is your life. Don't force it, the thoughts will come, remember them, use these moments to decide your fate, the ending to the film titled: _______ (your names goes here) then you can decide if you want to add a little ...drama, action, maybe even a little romance...live your life the way you want it, because don't forget ...it's the only one you've got. (at least for now)

Our CodiaK bear

He certainly started out small...but now at only 10 months he's a whopping 24lbs!

I don't know this little guy that much yet, but I'm betting he's going to be so much fun. He's such a happy baby, it's easy to get a smile out of him. He's got two diva's for older sisters...little do they know he's going to give them a run for their money! Codey is my brother's boy and so far the only one who will carry on the Jerel E. Arnell name.(my father). He is the latest addition to our family and what a sweet one he is...he makes us 14.

My thoughts-I don't need your penny, they come this time for free.

I want to be able to be real. always.
never fake. i don't even want to fake a smile.
just accept me. accept yourself.
stop pretending to be someone else.
start fitting into your OWN life.
you'll find true happiness there.
friends aren't anything, family is everything.
listen to the music around you. apply it to your life.
look at nature for what it IS, not what it can be.
find someTHING to love, not always someONE.
become successful, without money $0.00.
live in the moment, not in the future.
don't hold grudges.
your mistakes do not define you. they tell you who you're not.
when you fail. smile. hold your head high.
spare your life to save someone else's.
stop judging. you only make yourself look stupid.
love anyone who is worthy of your love.
realize when something is truly beautiful.
make a wish. make it real. anything can happen.
this is ME. whoever I want to be.

-hollie K.