mY baby girl

Attika is the sweetest thing since chocolate; I had surgery last Friday and she has hunkered down right by my side through recovery. Now I know one can argue, Atti is normally always lazy (most dogs typically are) but for some reason she's been extra sweet and has shared "camp couch" with me this entire time. There is just something about a dog's love. Thanks Atti, mama appreciates your compassion.

Jon has been equally as supportive, taking care of poor pathetic me. He took me for a ride up the Ogden Canyon on Saturday, it was beautiful. Here are a few cool shots from that trip.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.. ya filthy animal...

The build up to the holidays is the best, when the actual day finally gets here it just flies on by. I can't believe all the preparation you go through and how quickly its all over. I'm glad I was able to watch my favorite holiday films though, my favs:
1. Christmas Vacation
2. A Christmas Story
3. Home Alone 1 & 2
4. Rudolph (the classic cartoon)
5. Elf
6. The Grinch who stole Christmas (the classic cartoon)
Spending the time with family and loved ones made it best of all for me. I'm so glad everyone is healthy and that we are able to create special memories with one another.

Now that 2009 is here I am looking forward to a fresh start. 2008 had its ups and downs, but I'm really looking forward to leaving it in the past. Hello new year and new life! I can't wait!

Powell: My Heaven

Ever since I can remember my family and I have been going down to Lake Powell. Being that its located in the very state I live in and that it's also one of my favorite places to vacation makes it nice for me. As far as I'm concerned there isn't any place like it; the way the glistening blue green fades into the calcium deposited white of water levels past, and finally into the ever famous russet brown and black that dominates Southern Utah.



I could list a hundred reasons why I love this place:
1. sun
2. beautiful
3. hot
4. relaxing
5. memorable
The lake is so powerful in all of its 186 miles. Sometimes the feelings I get are indescribable when I'm down there. The open aired freedom of the water, the sun, and the sky gives anyone the ability to breath. Breath deep and sure. The last time we were down there it was almost like therapy for me. Like I had checked into a rehabilitation center where I could completely be myself. Previous to our trip my grandmother passed away- literally days before we left, and last summer was close to hell. I've had a pretty eventful year. The night before we left we had to attend a friend's wedding and I was able to stand up for myself towards two supposed "friends" of mine, a first for me-it was a liberating experience. (and too long of a story to tell) I appreciated that I had this beautiful place to mull over my past, present, and future feelings. This time around I was able to breeze through the first two books of the Twilight Saga, I tanned, I swam, ate good food...I took it all in and God it was great.

If I had to chose my serenity, here is where it would be:
Here are a few pictures of my time down there:

Attika and I on a boat ride. It was so cute-she loved being in the sun, she instantly fell asleep.

All of us that went. We hiked up to Rainbow Bridge.

Nate (my brother) and I while we were exploring Face Canyon.

Playing Polish Poker. The only cute one at this table is Bree. lol.

Attika and Ketta on their first boat ride. They loved it.

Bree and I on our hike.

Gunsight Butte, where we camped. The houseboat.

Jon and the girls @ Dangling Rope Marina.

Our last night there just over the wall someone put on the most amazing firework show. It was incredible.

Jon and I.

Creating our own firework show.

Where I spent most of my time reading Twilight.

A beautiful place.

My Mame

Tradition has proven itself joyful, yet again. For the past couple of months Amy and I have been creating a much needed girls night either during the week or the weekend. Last night we embarked upon our sixth girls night; lately it has become a weekly thing rather than the once a month we first talked about.

Throughout each friendship I have gained I have come to realize that friendship rarely ever comes easy, at least not the ones that truly matter. Needless to say my relationship with mame (Amy, Slame, Dizzy dame) is recently coming off the rocks we hit this summer. Some might say that having to work within a relationship you have with a friend isn't worth it, but I completely disagree. Sometimes knowing that both of you care enough, to fight, get over it, and beginning to rekindle what might have been lost during the fight tells me so much more. It feels good knowing that someone cares about you enough to work through the bad stuff and make the good stuff that much better.

Amy and I have gotten along from day one. I have lots of memories with her, even before I have memories with Jon. She's always been a sweetheart and she always gets me. The dirty dancing recaps, the Levi goat laugh, stealing people's liquor, making mac and cheese...throwing benches into Holiday Innn's swimming pools at 2:00a.m. I could go on forever. From the crazy ass w. terrace times through the goyk hennessey days up until now with our girl's nights mame will always be in my heart. She taught me how to play guitar hero, one handed like a fuckin rock star, that's bad ass. ;) love you sis, sliss. Let's never forget why we click the way we do in the first place.

Dog'on Photography

Last Saturday we ventured out with our children to Beus Pond where we met Brad (our photographer) so that we could take "family" photos. We figured we'd get through the dog shots first because those seemed they would be the hardest. (and they were, believe me) Gage couldn't keep his tongue in his mouth for... oh i dont know....ONE second. Because the park was packed the dogs would look everywhere BUT the camera. While my husband became frustrated I couldn't help but enjoy the time we were having; Brad kept cooing "Gage, Gage...up here Gage" as if he was speaking to a toddler...that brought to my attention that in the years to come Jon and I will look back on this time and marvel at the days when we only had Attika and Gage to worry about. One day a couple of kids will fill our lives and our home with a lot more responsibility and chaos. Even though I look forward to that time in our lives, I am grateful for the time we have with one another now; I am very pleased and fulfilled with the little spirits we take care of. We are complete for now.

Cleora Blanche Durant Arnell

My Grandma was just like any other Grandma.
She passed away on September 15, 2008 at the age of 87yrs. Her last days here with us were sad ones, she suffered quietly while all of us watched her go. As hard as it is to accept the death of someone close to you, most of my family realized it was time for her to move on. The state she was living in was no state for any human being to live in at all. When you can't eat or speak your worth starts to diminish within you. She felt it, she knew, and she was ready.

The hardest part is watching those that are left behind struggle. My Grandpa wept constantly at her side for two weeks prior to her passing. He loved her, I never saw it before as much as I saw it then. His frail 92 year old body laid out across her as he would plead to her that he loved her and that he would be okay, it was okay for her to finally sleep. I don't blame him, they were together for a total of 72 years; that's longer than some people live here on this earth and 50 years before I was even born. It was also extremely difficult to watch my Dad cry-he was losing his Mommy something I can't nor do I want to ever relate to. It's weird seeing someone that you view as your strength (my dad) for so many years in such a sad state of mind.

I was in charge of the photographs for her viewing and funeral. Going through all the photographs I could find of her from her infant stages up until a month or so ago-it occured to me her life experiences were lying right there in front of me. Now that she was gone it was only her family and this pile of photographs that held her memory. It brought my mortality to surface and I realized that life is really too short.

I think we can all learn a lesson from this. Live your life to its fullest and take a lot of pictures along the way!

I love you grandma and you will be greatly missed.

care to laugh?

I wonder if this lady survived that attack...I know her camera didn't...

The most important thing to me.

I met you at age fifteen.
I was never sure about us,
But I knew the way things seemed.
We were inseparable from the start
You and me.
It had to work somehow
We are meant to be.
Years passed
We kept in contact
As time flew by fast
You graduated from high school
And I was finally free
…For you and me.
We struggled to begin
But when we did…
The feelings were unbeatable from within.
“I love you” came quickly
We were thick as thieves
We spent all our time together immediately
When I look back on it now
I wish we would have slowed down
Not because I regret how it was
Only to enjoy more of the new us.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks into years.
Before I knew it four were under our belt.
Although it wasn’t always easy
I can’t describe how wonderful those years felt.
Time for the next step
We weren’t getting any younger
And our hearts were growing ever fonder.
On a cold day in December
You got down on one knee
And proposed all the love you had to me.
The coming months were a struggle
We faced a lot
We didn’t quite have it all together
But we made it out on top.
I am thankful for the bad times
As crazy as it may sound
We are stronger because of them, no more jagged edges
From this strength our life is becoming more round.
Your eyes are a web of entwined faith
It is for our future, which I cannot wait.
Bright blue doorways to your soul
Our past, present, and what we do not yet know
When I see through your blues
All I see is me and you.
Your touch is nurturing
Your embrace is all that and more
When your arms are around me
I can hardly control melting to the floor.
Your smile lightens up any room
When I taste your lips
I feel like I’m on top of the moon
Each kiss we share has a meaning
A friendly hello, a sad goodbye, sometimes passion and all its feeling.
You are my strong and brave man
Because you’re mine that makes me your biggest fan.
You are smart with many talents
If I named them one by one
I’d be here forever, with our time together being none.
The way you care so deeply, live so freely
Encourages me to stay unique, you complete me.
You’ve got compassion for others
Whether or not they are a brother, a friend, or your mother.
Your silly nature brings out the best in me
We can laugh until we cry, we always have fun
I can be as weird as I want to be
Thank you; with you I’m always free.
I live to let you shine.
You are my love, my partner, my best friend
No one could ever replace you
I will be with you until the very end.