Some things never change

...oh, but they do.

I can look back on the past five years of my life and I see extreme change. It's been on my mind lately anyway, but its funny the things that happen to bring what's changed to the surface of my brain evermore. I ran into a gal that I used to work with @ Union Grill, aw, my first job-such memories. I was only 18 years old then, so naive, and close to clueless on what it was like to be responsible for something. In ways I envy who I was then, I constantly envy my past which is a continuous problem and also not what I'd like to touch on right now...so moving on...
Jon and I had a conversation about how we're always living for tomorrow. Everybody is always pushing to get through today. I think what happens to most of us is that we forget we are living today. Today is as much a part of your life as tomorrow will be, or the next day. I know I'm guilty for living for my weekends. Do I enjoy myself more on the weekends? Well sure, but I'd like to start enjoying everyday as I do my weekends. Even though work is involved, I should be able to remind myself to enjoy a minor part of each passing day. If you want to get severely deep into this and be technically frank...if you think about it, each day that passes only leads you closer to your inevitable death. A sick thought, but an eye opener I think. All of us should start slowing down, smell the roses, watch the sunset-or if you're ambitious the sunrise. Joy can be found in so many things that we take for granite. It makes complete sense to me now that when I was younger I was anxiously awaiting being older, and now that I'm older I'm wishing I could go back to my younger days again. If I would have slowed down back then I would have been able to better enjoy the things that I had no idea would change, the people that would come and go. It's a great lesson I've learned the hard way. I'm going to make a point to start living today and living just how I want to. Take this advice or leave it, but I'm going to be vain and say this is very good advice.

Folks, what was once the title to a great soap opera...'these are the days of our lives,' your life. Start realizing it. Live for today, and everyday after that.

Shout OUT! to my Sarah Clydie

I'm envious of this young gal, she's much smarter than I was at the age of fifteen.
Like her, I am the youngest child in my family and it wasn't long ago that I remember the time when my siblings were getting married and moving on in their life and I just felt sort of left behind. I am unsure if Sarah feels this way, but I'm sure she can relate a little bit. I went through my rebellious teen phase where family came second to friends and popularity, only to realize later on in my life that family should always come first. Over numerous occasions Sarah has proven to me that she understands the concept of family already and she does what she can to pull us all together, and might I mention what a grueling task this can be. I find now that I am the one in my immediate family doing what I can to plan trips, game nights, dinners out...or any opportunity for my family to spend quality time together. It isn't easy getting several different lives to meet together all the same night and at the same time, but when you do it is more than worth it.
Last weekend Sarah planned a poker night for all of us and believe it or not we were all able to make it. We had an amazing night-had the parents up until 1:30am, and laughed until we cried. It's an everlasting memory I'll have all thanks to you Ms. Sarah. You are such a beautiful and strong girl...I just wanted you to know that somebody notices.
I love you, sis. :)

mY baby girl

Attika is the sweetest thing since chocolate; I had surgery last Friday and she has hunkered down right by my side through recovery. Now I know one can argue, Atti is normally always lazy (most dogs typically are) but for some reason she's been extra sweet and has shared "camp couch" with me this entire time. There is just something about a dog's love. Thanks Atti, mama appreciates your compassion.

Jon has been equally as supportive, taking care of poor pathetic me. He took me for a ride up the Ogden Canyon on Saturday, it was beautiful. Here are a few cool shots from that trip.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.. ya filthy animal...

The build up to the holidays is the best, when the actual day finally gets here it just flies on by. I can't believe all the preparation you go through and how quickly its all over. I'm glad I was able to watch my favorite holiday films though, my favs:
1. Christmas Vacation
2. A Christmas Story
3. Home Alone 1 & 2
4. Rudolph (the classic cartoon)
5. Elf
6. The Grinch who stole Christmas (the classic cartoon)
Spending the time with family and loved ones made it best of all for me. I'm so glad everyone is healthy and that we are able to create special memories with one another.

Now that 2009 is here I am looking forward to a fresh start. 2008 had its ups and downs, but I'm really looking forward to leaving it in the past. Hello new year and new life! I can't wait!

Powell: My Heaven

Ever since I can remember my family and I have been going down to Lake Powell. Being that its located in the very state I live in and that it's also one of my favorite places to vacation makes it nice for me. As far as I'm concerned there isn't any place like it; the way the glistening blue green fades into the calcium deposited white of water levels past, and finally into the ever famous russet brown and black that dominates Southern Utah.



I could list a hundred reasons why I love this place:
1. sun
2. beautiful
3. hot
4. relaxing
5. memorable
The lake is so powerful in all of its 186 miles. Sometimes the feelings I get are indescribable when I'm down there. The open aired freedom of the water, the sun, and the sky gives anyone the ability to breath. Breath deep and sure. The last time we were down there it was almost like therapy for me. Like I had checked into a rehabilitation center where I could completely be myself. Previous to our trip my grandmother passed away- literally days before we left, and last summer was close to hell. I've had a pretty eventful year. The night before we left we had to attend a friend's wedding and I was able to stand up for myself towards two supposed "friends" of mine, a first for me-it was a liberating experience. (and too long of a story to tell) I appreciated that I had this beautiful place to mull over my past, present, and future feelings. This time around I was able to breeze through the first two books of the Twilight Saga, I tanned, I swam, ate good food...I took it all in and God it was great.

If I had to chose my serenity, here is where it would be:
Here are a few pictures of my time down there:

Attika and I on a boat ride. It was so cute-she loved being in the sun, she instantly fell asleep.

All of us that went. We hiked up to Rainbow Bridge.

Nate (my brother) and I while we were exploring Face Canyon.

Playing Polish Poker. The only cute one at this table is Bree. lol.

Attika and Ketta on their first boat ride. They loved it.

Bree and I on our hike.

Gunsight Butte, where we camped. The houseboat.

Jon and the girls @ Dangling Rope Marina.

Our last night there just over the wall someone put on the most amazing firework show. It was incredible.

Jon and I.

Creating our own firework show.

Where I spent most of my time reading Twilight.

A beautiful place.

My Mame

Tradition has proven itself joyful, yet again. For the past couple of months Amy and I have been creating a much needed girls night either during the week or the weekend. Last night we embarked upon our sixth girls night; lately it has become a weekly thing rather than the once a month we first talked about.

Throughout each friendship I have gained I have come to realize that friendship rarely ever comes easy, at least not the ones that truly matter. Needless to say my relationship with mame (Amy, Slame, Dizzy dame) is recently coming off the rocks we hit this summer. Some might say that having to work within a relationship you have with a friend isn't worth it, but I completely disagree. Sometimes knowing that both of you care enough, to fight, get over it, and beginning to rekindle what might have been lost during the fight tells me so much more. It feels good knowing that someone cares about you enough to work through the bad stuff and make the good stuff that much better.

Amy and I have gotten along from day one. I have lots of memories with her, even before I have memories with Jon. She's always been a sweetheart and she always gets me. The dirty dancing recaps, the Levi goat laugh, stealing people's liquor, making mac and cheese...throwing benches into Holiday Innn's swimming pools at 2:00a.m. I could go on forever. From the crazy ass w. terrace times through the goyk hennessey days up until now with our girl's nights mame will always be in my heart. She taught me how to play guitar hero, one handed like a fuckin rock star, that's bad ass. ;) love you sis, sliss. Let's never forget why we click the way we do in the first place.

Dog'on Photography

Last Saturday we ventured out with our children to Beus Pond where we met Brad (our photographer) so that we could take "family" photos. We figured we'd get through the dog shots first because those seemed they would be the hardest. (and they were, believe me) Gage couldn't keep his tongue in his mouth for... oh i dont know....ONE second. Because the park was packed the dogs would look everywhere BUT the camera. While my husband became frustrated I couldn't help but enjoy the time we were having; Brad kept cooing "Gage, Gage...up here Gage" as if he was speaking to a toddler...that brought to my attention that in the years to come Jon and I will look back on this time and marvel at the days when we only had Attika and Gage to worry about. One day a couple of kids will fill our lives and our home with a lot more responsibility and chaos. Even though I look forward to that time in our lives, I am grateful for the time we have with one another now; I am very pleased and fulfilled with the little spirits we take care of. We are complete for now.

Cleora Blanche Durant Arnell

My Grandma was just like any other Grandma.
She passed away on September 15, 2008 at the age of 87yrs. Her last days here with us were sad ones, she suffered quietly while all of us watched her go. As hard as it is to accept the death of someone close to you, most of my family realized it was time for her to move on. The state she was living in was no state for any human being to live in at all. When you can't eat or speak your worth starts to diminish within you. She felt it, she knew, and she was ready.

The hardest part is watching those that are left behind struggle. My Grandpa wept constantly at her side for two weeks prior to her passing. He loved her, I never saw it before as much as I saw it then. His frail 92 year old body laid out across her as he would plead to her that he loved her and that he would be okay, it was okay for her to finally sleep. I don't blame him, they were together for a total of 72 years; that's longer than some people live here on this earth and 50 years before I was even born. It was also extremely difficult to watch my Dad cry-he was losing his Mommy something I can't nor do I want to ever relate to. It's weird seeing someone that you view as your strength (my dad) for so many years in such a sad state of mind.

I was in charge of the photographs for her viewing and funeral. Going through all the photographs I could find of her from her infant stages up until a month or so ago-it occured to me her life experiences were lying right there in front of me. Now that she was gone it was only her family and this pile of photographs that held her memory. It brought my mortality to surface and I realized that life is really too short.

I think we can all learn a lesson from this. Live your life to its fullest and take a lot of pictures along the way!

I love you grandma and you will be greatly missed.